This is pretty much guaranteed to get the answer you don’t want, so don’t do it. Even if she’s on the fence about you, this is likely to push her over to the other side (the hint of accusation about ‘not being straight with you’ will not go over well, either). Part of being a man is having to deal with the fact that women change their minds often and much of the time we will have no idea why. Hassling them about it makes both you and she feel like you are begging. Women sometimes like men to beg after a relationship has been established for some time, gone cold, and she has threatened to leave or do something. In that case, it makes her feel that you really do want her, when she may have wondered about this. If she’s not into someone new, and she has positive *memories* of your relationship, then begging can be the pride-destroying activity that makes her feel she’s still important to you and reassures her that she has some power in the relationship. But begging before a relationship has started pretty much never works. She’ll think you’re wimpy, and you’ll lose your own self respect. The best you can hope for is to keep her on the back burner, and perhaps send (after a while) a message that you’ve been thinking about her and wondering how she is and would love to see her again. That last sentence is probably your best chance of turning things around, although my advice to you on this is that when God wants to punish you, He gives you what you think you want.
No ew. Dont say that. Something more along the lines… “I like you. Would love to bang you. You in or out?” Both of you complicated the situation too much.
Hmm, im not sure what to do based on the advice here. Leave it and back burner it. Or just tell her what I want. But I will at least make sure what I do doesnt sound desperate or needy I think thats the overriding message here.
^ people like you make me ashamed to be a male! Jeez, were you over circumcised and castrated as a newborn?! Grow some fuggin stones you pus$y!
I am really starting to think you are winding us up. I’m up in Kashmir skiing so I can’t really write an adequate response to this. Short Version Rant Against Complicated Chicks: You are starting to learn why I no longer like complicated “quirky” girls. In fact, be glad that you have not put one through her yet, because even if you manage to get her to fall madly in love with you, these types of problems do not go away. What’s worse is that they are exacerbated when you act indecisive and feminine. LOS: The best type of women are simple, even tempered, dependable, and kind. This might not be what turns you on, but I really think you ought to learn to appreciate them. This Girl: Bin her. Throw her in the FUCKING BIN. Honestly, you’ll be over her soon enough. Don’t risk developing more feelings for her. But if you can’t be sensible, then you at least need to ignore the shit out of her. If you wait a while and see her again it will essentially reset the whole way she feels about you. Women are a bit like Gold Fish when it comes to their long-term memory sexually. Their judgement about you sexually will expire if she doesnt see you for a while. Ever run into a chick you used to be friends with years ago and suddenly bang her the first time you saw her? Happens to me all the time. A month from now (don’t tell her that you’ll call her in a month by the way) when she calls you be: FUN, CONFIDENT, PLAYFULLY SEXUAL, and certainly NOT NEEDY, FEMININE, INDECISIVE. If you cant do this, what you need is a lesbian. They might be attracted to this type of behavior.
It’s not his fault, this is the result of a feminist castrated post modern male childhood in western liberal society. I was victimized the same was as Transfer Pricing. Fortunately, early on in my sexuality I witnessed more atavistic males in other societies and learned to throw out the J. Alfred Prufrock routine very quickly.
thanks chickentikka. I like your advice. Its probably the best, jsut to leave it for a month and see if she contacts me at all during this time. Then I think after a month Ill just throw out a hail mary and and say i been thinking of her and hows she doing. Its gonna be hard though to not contact her and just tell her i like her, whats your deal. But ill try not to crack
You’re suppose to shoot steroids, not estrogen son. Bulk up with some roids!!!
Don’t tell her that you have been thinking about her when you talk to her next. Tell her about something cool you just did: “Hey, I just got back from zimbabwe with my friend Puff Daddy. How’s life?” No reason to talk about the past or anything like that. Just keep it cool and casual. Then put your hand on her ass, then lunge in for the kill. Then get it out as fast as possible.
Listen to CTikka! What a hero–wish I’d had his advice when I was a student.
Ok the saga continues. Look I did what I shouldnt have and I texted her. I just said something like, HI, was just wondering why I hadnt heard back from you. She replied 10 mins later saying sorry we didnt speak on thurs, that she fell asleep at like 7 has had a busy week. And said she was going skiing now and would look for me online to speak when she got back home. Anyway, as maybe you can guess I didnt hear from her. Now I am cool with it and just going to leave it and move on, because I really dont want anyone full of this much crap. But I am just wondering, what would you guys think her deal is, do you reall keep leading someone on like this and being specific in when you would speak to them if you dont want to? is that normal, normally I would expect someone not to reply? Or be a lot more vague in their response? Is she just keeping me in her back pocket maybe? Ideas welcome, as I try to dissect further into the female mind.
My 2 cents: based on the way you acted over the weekend, she is aware that you are sensitive and a ‘nice guy’. so she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Problem is, she doesn’t want to do you, either. So she’s trying to get out of the situation in a way that doesn’t make her feel mean/guilty. advice for next time: if a girl agrees to come stay at your place, just the two of you, she is interested. this is a situation where you will be a million times more successful by taking the lead, rather than obsessive-compulsively analyzing everything, then sleeping on the couch.
also (just re read your post) – she invited you to share the bed and you still didn’t make a move??? How much more of a signal do you need!?
Well, there was spooning, that’s the next logical move, and that’s supposed to lead to kissing or fondling, but apparently she didn’t feel comfortable going beyond spooning. In my experience, this happens a fair amount with US-born women. It’s the puritanical strain in our culture. Many women feel ok going right up to the point of teasing and almost-there, but they are afraid to do anything that would actually give them any “co-responsibility” for the final step that leads to sex. Aggressive guys don’t care and will take that step for them, which is one reason that many women like those kinds of guys. Nice guys want to feel assured that she won’t decide in the morning that he raped her because she didn’t consent to that very last step. But the signal that would reassure him is precisely the signal that would suggest that she consented to sex, and our puritan culture then asks her to feel bad about herself for that. I’ve not found this issue with Europeans and Latins (I don’t know how Asians are on this point). They can change their minds about things if you do or say something klutzy that makes them feel bad or unattractive, but they generally don’t have any issue cooperating with you in getting to a place that you both would like to go, and they certainly won’t let you get anywhere near the runway unless they’re prepared to clear you for take-off.
Visit websites that end in hub.
Agreed, when I was in Latin America for a couple months back in college, girls would whistle and catcall guys in the street and the club. It was amazing, almost like total role reversal. Within a few days of constantly getting hit on, I think pretty much every guy in our group decided they never wanted to leave. It’s kind of sh*tty when you see what the US role casting (where women have to pretend they have no sex drive and men have to make every move) does to the male ego and the dating scene in general in the US. I haven’t spent much time in Europe, so I can’t comment on that, but I’ve heard good things as well. Tangentially to this point: Recently in a bizarre and crazy chain of events that will only sound more ridiculous if I tried to justify or explain them, I wound up striking things back up with a muslim girl from the gulf region I met while in Egypt traveling and things are sort of spiraling towards an impending engagement (and a requisite conversion from Christianity to Islam that my parents are REAL psyched about). But I was flat out stunned along the way to find out she was WAAAAY less restrictive and much crazier and open in certain aspects of the relationship than the American girls I’ve dated. So, I’m starting to really think the Puritan impact on the American dating scene makes it one of the worst globally.
Update: I never texted again and oddly she called me yesterday afternoon. She played like everything was normal, just been busy.
have you tried showing up outside of her apartment with a michael bolton celine dion mix on blast with flowers and chocolate? i only ask cuz this would really really really work
So she’s not really sure what she wants, other than not to feel guilty about anything. So you can keep her on the back burner and entertained, but she sounds like someone who will flip back and forth constantly between hot and cold. Handle with care, and if you start to develop feelings for her, don’t indulge them until you she’s shown consistent interest for a while.
“Tangentially?” You don’t say? ROFL