Your Luggage Policy

When traveling with either your wife, girlfriend, side girlfriend, mistress, or hot intern you’re banging, etc., do you guys have a luggage policy? I believe that when it comes to luggage, the lighter the better, but in my experience some chicks think they can bring their walk-in closet to cover endless scenarios, despite that they will probably be naked a lot during the trip. I wouldn’t mind if chicks take care of their own stuff, but often the guy has to take care of the excessive baggage, and for some travel schedules is really a problem. Worst experience was with this chick in Europe when instead of bringing a backpack she almost brought the kitchen sink and obviously I had to carry most of her sh!t.

Just wait until a toddler enters the picture.

I am very strict about luggage with girls I travel with. I travel a lot, much moreso than most girls I’ve traveled with, so I usually go over the night before and review / modify the packing situation. Usually it helps to just say, “hey, if you get over there and really need _____________ we’ll go shop for one” or something. They think, “shopping, yay!” and I think, “yeah, she’s gonna realize she doesn’t need __________ over there.” I went to Mexico for a month with a group in college, and the girls overpacked soooooo much. There were something like 17 girls to 5 guys so for the first week we were pack muling their sh*t around everywhere. To top it off, when we’d go out to eat, in groups, the guys would without fail get stuck holding the majority of the tab. After the first week, we just told them to basically “f*ck off” and left them to their own devices. It was actually only the clique of 4 “popular” girls that caused all the headaches, the rest were cool.

I can’t even imagine with a toddler.

Another rule I have, is when I go out in NYC or Vegas with a group, I usually wind up as coordinator, so I always mandate that all the girls have a pair of flats in their purse or the the guy they’re with has them stashed in their jacket. A couple years ago, I just finally got sick of girls standing around holding their shoes in their hand and whimpering at midnight when the night’s clearly going till 4 am because they didn’t pack appropraite footwear. Or you want to relocate to another bar 4 blocks away but they sandbag the idea because their feet hurt from the heels. Having spare flats in their purse or otherwise on their person makes everyone a happy camper.

travel light. and I’ve traveled with toddlers before, my god, that’s a nightmare. Definitely a big negative on the list of reasons for having kids

Agreed man, hauling an extra check on size luggage piece weighing 50 lbs (or whatever kids weigh these days) seems like a logistical nightmare.

You put yours in the luggage too?

They fit perfectly into a standard carry-on roller. I consider that a message directly from God that they belong in there.

I’m always a carry on only no matter where I am going unless I have golf or surf equipment.

Girls bitching about their feet…over it.

I always trafel light. even with a 1 year old. We have managed to go skiing with 3 sets of ski-equipment and carrying a baby with just my husband and myself. so even with a baby you can travel light. just buy more like diapers and milkpowder on the spot.

haha, nice. I would love to be in charge of a large group of chicks during a trip: “Alright it’s time to go! … don’t complain about your feet later, bitches!”

ditto, then not only do you have less stuff to carry, you don’t have to wait around to pick up your checked bags

I have collapseable ski polls. I tried to take them through security in my carryon in February claiming that it was a cane and that I was a gimp. No success.

The carry-on only strategy is starting to backfire. Unless you are one of the first 10 people on the plane anymore, it seems like the overhead bins are full and you have to gate check any carry-on bigger than a dopp kit. On a recent flight to South America (with a lengthy layover in Miami), American Airlines actually expected us to move all our toddler’s food, milk, medicine, etc. from a wheeled carry-on to my wife’s purse and my laptop bag and gate check our bag all the way through to our final destination (i.e. we woudn’t even get it back in Miami). My wife got into an argument with the gate agent and we were a few minutes away from security being called. I finally intervened and said fine we’ll move the stuff on the jetway. Once we were out of sight of the agent, I ripped the check tag off the bag and carried it on. Overhead space was tight, but we found a spot for the bag.

You’re one of these people that takes toddlers on transcontinental flights? If I had it my way the airlines would put your children in the luggage compartment with their strollers.

^ It’s actually intercontinental, transcontinental is across a continent.

Yep, not gonna lie. I personally think toddlers should be banned from intercontinental flights. Each airline should have like one flight each day or every several days that goes between countries that allows toddlers and that’s it. Flying to Dubai was the freaking worst. Pulled two consecutive all nighters to make the trip happen then got stuck on a middle seat between Indians with no concept of private space. They’d just drop stuff in your lap like blankets and sh*t and leave it there. My section had no less than 8-10 screaming babies. Sucked soooo bad.

I’m bringing blow darts next time to knock your kid unconscious.

Indians fly with babies a lot. My guess is because they are free. India loves value for money.

Similarly, I think parents that take screaming toddlers out to nice restaurants are mega selfish. I always just figure when I hear a baby screaming that somewhere in that same restaurant is probably a couple that took the time and effort to hire a baby sitter so they could get away from the screaming kids for one night, just to be subjected to some other irresponsible parents’ child screaming at the next table over.