ValueAddict Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > +1 > > To echo everyone else here the answer is no. If > she needs financial support then she should turn > to her family and close friends. A real > relationship is not predicated on financial > attachment. > > I have never dated anyone that didn’t have a good > head on her shoulders and was financially > responsible / independent. Good points mentioned above… On another note, I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with playing “games.” Now, I recognize people may have different ideas as to what the game entails. For me, what the game does NOT entail is guys (or girls) pointlessly giving a potential date a hard time just for the heck of it (some people still do this because they think it’s a way to “test” someone, but I think this is just a waste of time). What I do believe in, however, is that playing the “game” is a means of finding out whether a girl is really worth my time. Just like girls are always trying to tease guys and give them grief about things just to see how well the guy can handle themselves, I think it’s totally legitimate for guys to throw girls curveballs to see if they have the wit, charm, and intellectual horsepower to keep a potential relationship interesting. Obviously, what I just mentioned is quite different from deliberately trying to arouse jealousy or make a girl feel insecure about herself, just so that she can try harder to “prove herself” to you. For some guys, maybe that’s their style, and I have seen it work before. However, it doesn’t work for me, and it doesn’t work for the type of women that I like to be with. Gotta keep it classy.
needhelp, please do not give her money. She seems like she bought a house to get back at you or make you jealous. She’s got something to prove and she’s totally screwing with you.
BTW, I would be very careful about lending girlfriends money. Even if they intend to pay it back at a later time, sometimes their putting you on hold can create stress on a relationship – either for yourself, the other person, or both of you. In my experience, I did lend my girlfriend a few years ago a moderate sum of money to help her set up her new apartment. She was here on a graduate student’s salary, which wasn’t much, but it was important for her to be close to me to make things work. Anyway, I was happy to do it and I had no concerns about being repaid, which happened within a couple months. However, there were instances of tension where she felt like she “owed” me something and had to go out of her way to make me happy as a means of reciprocating my kind gesture – and this was in spite of my repeatedly telling her not to worry about it, and that it wasn’t a big deal. And for the most part, it wasn’t a big deal for me, except for the times when she wanted to go out and live it up like an urban professional in NYC. In some ways, I can’t blame her for that – I myself enjoyed living that lifestyle myself, and with her being an attractive, intelligent woman in her mid-20’s, I could understand why she’d feel the same way. But, in the back of my mind, it did create a sense of tension because I felt like the money that I lent her to set up the apartment wasn’t going to be repaid till a later time, because it was being spent on more leisurely activities. I know she wanted to take me out to dinner once in a while, but I couldn’t help but think that she was taking me out with my own money and that I’d end up having to wait an extra week to get repaid. To make a long story short, you can see how getting entangled in financial arrangements can be a problem. I’m quite sure my ex-gf can hold her own – she’s on her way to becoming a doctor – but the fact is, regardless of how much or how little money you have, I personally think from my own experience that you need to have a good talk and carefully think through that type of stuff, before committing your capital to another person. It can put added pressure on a relationship in ways that you might not anticipate.
If you don’t play games, how do you know who is winning?
numi, great point. But if I was about to become homeless. I rather feel like owing somebody something rather then living on the streets.
You have to expect to win most of the time, and expect everything else to be a glitch in the system or a rounding error!!
I still don’t understand what this thread is about, so she’s not a “working” girl?
Good question…I don’t know either, Turkish. To be honest I only read the last five or six posts in this thread. Story of my life when trying to keep up with AnalystForum during times when I actually have work to do…
Numi - good point on the lending money, but not about games, you learn those things by spending time with someone not trying to ruin it BiPolarBoy - thank you for clarifying, very well put and couldn’t agree more…but if you meet one of those rare nice girls, don’t play games (we don’t like them!) BrianR - yes I have found the search function and that is still the worst!
We need an executive summary function. I’m mean, if she’s a working girl I completely understand, she just wants to get paid and thusly the Paris trip makes perfect sense to me. What quality working girl hasn’t been taken on a Parisien vacation, especially at stressful times like this. If you have the means, I highly recommend.
“BiPolarBoy - thank you for clarifying, very well put and couldn’t agree more…but if you meet one of those rare nice girls, don’t play games (we don’t like them!)” I meet nice girls all the time, why would I stop playing games?
KarenC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > BrianR - yes I have found the search function and > that is still the worst! Whew… in that case yes, that is the worst…
KarenC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Numi - good point on the lending money, but not > about games, you learn those things by spending > time with someone not trying to ruin it Actually, I think that *was* the point I was trying to make. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t believe in sabotage or creating a sense of insecurity or jealousy, and I think it’s disrespectful when guys do that type of stuff. Actually, girls sometimes do the same thing too, and I think it’s equally silly and pointless.
“I don’t believe in sabotage or creating a sense of insecurity or jealousy” But this is exactly what it says to do in “The Game”. Neil Strauss is a genius, no?
BiPolarBoyBoston Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Needhelp, > > > Otherwise I would loan her money if needed, but > maybe take collaterial/arrange a payback > agreement. Keep your emotions away from the help. Are you serious Bipolar?The guy said he planned a vacation with her but she took some guy with her. Can you still be a nice guy so she can shove him AGAIN?
Turkish - grow up! Numi - ok but you still said “playing the “game” is a means of finding out whether a girl is really worth my time” Needhelp - don’t her take you for a ride, tell her to get over herself and get a nice girl
KarenC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Turkish - grow up! > > Numi - ok but you still said “playing the “game” > is a means of finding out whether a girl is really > worth my time” > > Needhelp - don’t her take you for a ride, tell her > to get over herself and get a nice girl you want me to tell her to get a nice girl? boy, are you kinky
“Turkish - grow up!” Wow, karen quite an edge you have there. Sorry I forgot this was ultra serious Wednesday. With the markets ending a losing streak I was feeling a little too jovial.
Turkish - if you stop objectifying women you might actually find one that is nice. Not all of us play games, I certainly don’t! Needhelp - yes I’m just THAT kinky! you knew what I meant 
“Turkish - if you stop objectifying women you might actually find one that is nice. Not all of us play games, I certainly don’t!” Just what I’m looking for. Maybe we can settle down, move to the suburbs, hit home depot and bed bath and beyond on Saturday mornings…you know if we have the time.