Four months into dream job, unhappy. Am I being ungrateful?

Hi all,

I recently graduated from college in Boston, and was lucky enough to land an equity research associate role at a well-respected buy-side shop in the South. As someone whose dream has always been to work in investment management, this role is everything I hoped it would be–engaging, rewarding, intellectually stimulating. As an added plus, the hours aren’t horrible.

Unfortunately, outside of work, the picture isn’t quite so rosy. I never realized how difficult it is to meet people and make new friends in a new city when you’re not living in a dorm full of people your own age. It’s been four months, and overall I just don’t feel like I fit in here, and I find myself missing my friends from school immensely. It’s getting to the point that I’m starting to consider a move back to Boston, which I know is one of the top cities for investment management. Would it be a bad move to try to make this geographic change this early in my career? Is it even possible? Or am I being ungrateful–I know how incredibly lucky I am to have this job. I don’t want to throw it away, but I’m having to come to terms with the fact that I’m just not happy where I am.

I would love to hear your advice. Thanks,


Don’t be so hard on yourself. Remember, this chronic indecisiveness is simply symptomatic of being a millennial. You can’t blame yourself for the culture your generation has been marinating you in.

I am a new transplant as well and I think you should just give it time. Try doing things outside work during your free time and you’ll meet people in due time.

House-sharing is a good place to start, co-ed sports, Internations, head to the nearest dancing studio etc.

My advice is to meet people where you are at. Life is too short and people spend too much time in familiar environments. Maybe you’ll end up back in Boston, but 4 months is nothing. I think this experience of moving away helps people grow.

And I wouldn’t leave my first job before the first two years. I think that’s a bad mark on the resume, personally

Deep inside your heart, you also know that you wont leave this job just because you’re missing your friends. Opportunity is hard to find, stay focused.

Your profile says lvl 1 candidate. If that’s the case, I wouldn’t worry too much about having a social life over the next 3 years anyway…

^all of the above

its natural to miss friends and worry you about the social situation. just focus on work, studies, and improving yourself. Use this time free of social distraction to do things you’ve never done before and meet new people, you will be better for it. It’s an opportunity that doesn’t come often so seize it. Also, stick in this job until a better opportunity comes around.

Go to the bar and watch some sports teams you are passionate about, youll meet people. Play mens league sports, there are tons of things to do to meet new people. It takes a while to really dig roots into your new city and feel at home, dont sweat it too much. If you are enjoying your work you are way ahead of most people.

Four months is a short time. Stick with it. Make an effort to meet people. You can visit your friends back home. You have your dream job; don’t blow it.

Agree with everyone here. Also wouldn’t hurt to go through my thread as someone who was laid off from ER associate this year and finding it very difficult to get back in -

Likely not what you want to hear but your experience is just not enough to feel safe about landing another ER job. Very few people love every part of their life - some have the reverse and hate their job but love their environment. Some (many) gave neither. I would put in another 1.5 years and then reconsider this if it’s still a problem. Alternatively you can start applying to Boston positions maybe after your first year to get a feel for your demand. But definitely stick it out for a while longer.

Also as others have mentioned, you’re not even close to overturning every stone to solve this problem - tons of ways to get out and meet people. They aren’t easy, especially for introverted people (if you are one) but put some work into your social life - 4 months is literally nothing.

Only 4 months? Suck it up, but you can always start applying and test the waters.

dont think about those dollar signs. Are you in Charlotte kid?

He’s either at sun trust, raymond james or baird.

Why would you assume that? I don’t care enough to go through his post history, but all three of those are in different locations. Just an interesting mix you have there that piqued my interest.

Plus, I wouldn’t say SunTrust or Raymond James is in the Investment Management business. Baird at least runs funds.

^ He could also be in New Orleans, there are a number of SS firms there too that are energy focused.

I agree with the above, just go out and join a rec sports league. I joined a kickball social league for the winter season this past year where I knew nobody and it was a ton of fun.

suck it up… do at least a solid year+ then look to move if you really want to

tons of people would line up and take your spot in a heartbeat

There are probably a ton of similarly lonely singles in that area. Go find one of those “youth social gatherings” or make one yourself. When I moved to NY, someone spontaneously posted a “Building 111 Social Hour” poster in the lobby. I didn’t go to it, but I’m sure it was great. Sports league is also a good idea. My friend is getting married to a girl he met there.

Hate to say it man, but I’d have to agree with others on here. Since it’s your first gig out of college, it would not be well looked upon that you left only after 4 months. You’re quite young and presumably without a family so location shouldn’t matter as much to you. Gaining experience and reputation (so someone can speak up for you when you do apply for the next job) should be at the top of the list. It may take 6-12mo before you start to meet new people and get more acclimated. Give it at least a year unless you happen to find something equivalent or better back in Boston.

RIP OP’s family

Thanks everyone for the advice. I’m going to focus on the job for now, and will reevaluate in a few months.