Yeah…all this “real life” stuff is depressing. I need to stay in the “Investments” subforum.
As a stepfather to one, father to one, and another one due in 8 weeks, I can answer your question pretty well I think. The reason I say that is because we made the decision to have both kids due to the biological clock. My wife turned 35 yesterday. To be quite frank about it, we were in no position and had no business having kids just yet. I’m a year removed from undergrad (yes I’m younger, but I didn’t go to college right away either), and we are pretty much broke. However, we know the risks associated with over 35 births and it was pretty much my call as to whether I wanted to risk never having a child. I decided that having a family was most important to me, and that I would work my butt off to improve my situation to the best of my ability.
The biggest problem we have is that we are financially strapped. It puts a strain on our marriage. We fight at times because we are unable to do things with the kids, however, they are very young so they don’t know the difference between a trip to Disney and a trip to the park up the street…yet. If you are financially stable then I say go for it. If your marriage is healthy I don’t believe kids will destroy it. It’s those who are struggling and think kids will “bring them closer” that fall apart.
Kids are not that bad. It is true that your life will revolve around them. We had our first date last night for her birthday in 7 months (we live an hour away from all family). It is true that you will constantly worry about them. (Are they ok, are they going to get sick, are they going to be socially accepted and confident, are they going to be smart, are we going to have enough money to send them to a good school, etc).
It is also true that you never know what it truly means to love someone until you have one.
pdub, you are a good man!!!
I suddenly remember a nice quote : having a child is like having your heart beat outside your body for the rest of your life.
At this point, I can’t say I want any kids or have any desired to have any in the future. Call it irresponsbility or whatever you want, but I’d have enough trouble taking care of a pet let alone another human being.
people who are on the fence about kids, should try raising a dog first. Feeding, walking, can’t leave it alone, maintenance this, maintenance that… it’s almost like raising a mini-kid, except much easier & much cheaper
This is a solid plan.
i think i like dogs more than i do humans…is that bad?
No… I go through my day thinking about how so many people are incredibly incompetent and why they seem to have better jobs than I do.
It’s tough to hate on a dog though. When I’m really bored at home I find myself searching for chocolate labs that are available for adoption/sale but then remember that I travel nearly 100% right now and can’t have one.
its a nice theory to “have a pet first” to test the waters…but its not the same…
your level of attachment to a pet is nothing like a child…yes, theres hard work associated with both, but the level of willingness and commitment is exponentially greater for a life that you’ve created, especially when you see the spitting image of yourself in it
ive never heard any stories of pet owners giving up an organ to save their pet…although…im sure someone on this forum will be able to prove me wrong…
I inherited a cat, and sometimes I feel like it’s too needy and too much responsibility. Probably does not bode well for kids.
cat is needy?? damn. They mostly keep to themselves, just got to feed and clean the litter box. Unless you’ve spoiled it rotten
And people do get very attached to their pets. Obviously a child is different, but you also have much higher legal responsibility to a child
Have you ever someone that’s a serious dog lover? It’s a whole other level…
The is a woman in my office, her entire office is filled with pictures of her dogs (well over a dozen pics), then she has just a couple pictures of her husband and kids.
Glad you enjoy being a father, but I have to ask how does your stepchild feel about this attitude? Is adoption a bad idea? Always better to have a kid with your genetic code? Serious questions.
I dunno, just having an animal around to rely on me for food and water and stuff cramps my style. I like to take off for days at a time on weekends and vacations with short notice and now I always have to put out extra food for this cat and get someone to check on it every couple days or whatever. I definitely prefer the indepenedence.
I saw this once. Woman had 20 some pictures of her dog and only one of her husband. But it’s only because the husband was in the photo with the dog. Really makes me feel bad for the guy.
always someone who must take it to a ridiculous level…because i suggest that theres more emotional attachment to a child than a dog we’ve got to analyze it to twist my words because i used the word “created” into, if its not genetically connected then its not as good meaning all adopted and step children are worth less…sounds like some of our members of congress that fight for inequality of anything and everything just to fight for something
but, to answer your question…how does he feel about it? well he’s four and doesn’t understand the meaning of the word attitude, nor creation or spitting image, so i’d say he’s indifferent
but by definition then, are you suggesting that adopted children are equivalent to animals?
Even if a child doesn’t have your genetic material in them, they often adapt your ideas and personalities. Not 100% of course, but even genetically they are only 1/2 and 1/2. You see yourself reflected in the children you attempt to raise.
I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some chemical code that makes people more protective of their own offspring, but the more time you spend helping form a person, the more attached you become.
100% agree…had i have known each word would be scrutinized for political correctness i would have been more careful…