U are a l3 candidate and need to get laid in the least amount of time as possible. Go to his house, tell him to skip the wine and snack, unless he’s ugly and u need the wine, get laid, get back to studying. Everyones a winner and u can still pass.
Nah, I definitely got some field experience. I thought it was fun for the brief time I tried it – good to exchange some messages with people to make sure they’re not crazy, and there were some quality girls out there. Things tended to move faster when we had common ground or mutual connections, as they do in real life.
I still think that going to mixers and house parties are slightly better ways to go because you can have friends (either male or female) wing for you, and women like to see other people around validating a guy as the “life of the party,” so the process moves along faster. I think it’s much easier to get lucky the first night if you have developed some chemistry with a girl when you have mutual friends since she feels “safer” with you. That said, I have no complaints with online dating. It works especially well if you can charm someone over messages / texts and girls find you funny as hell (not to be confused with “funny looking” coz most girls aren’t into that)
The problem with hooking up with friends of friends is that you build a reputation fairly quickly of being a player. It’s easy to get burned. I would use them more if you want to get into a relationship, not to have a fling.
Meet with him first in a neutral site.
I’m married right now, so I can speak about this objectively.
I used some sort of Yahoo Matchmaking thing for a month when I was younger. I sent out a message to some chick and she replied “Thanks, but not interested”
Since I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, I responded “No problem, thanks for your honesty - can you just tell me why?”
She said something like " I don’t want to sound mean, but you’re too short"
My profile had me listed at 5’6". Nevermind that I had just graduated from a top university, or that I came from a good family, or that I was an ENTJ, or that I was free of STD’s bla bla bla bla.
The strength AND weakness of online dating is that it allows people to cut to the chase. It’s none of my fucking business if we think her criteria is dumb; the bottomline is that she had a predetermined criteria and was able to see that I didn’t qualify within seconds. In that sense, the site did exactly what it was supposed to do!
Had I met her at a cocktail party, I might have spent 20 minutes chatting her up and entertaining her with my intelligence and humor, only to be dissapointed that she either
A) gives me a fake phone number or
B) gives me her number but finds every way to dodge any meaningful interactions.
Online dating benefits the most women that are in the 6-7 range. They end up dating above their league and get way more attention than they deserve because of the gender imbalance.
I second that.
DO NOT go to a guy’s house until you meet him at some safe public place.
I wouldn’t recommend ever asking “why not”.
No matter what the reason is, it’s irrelevant, since, as you mention, it will have nothing to do with you really, but will be just a dumb criteria. On the other hand it’s almost certain the answer will bother you.
Totally agree. The “fling” thing only works if you know the girl wants it more than you do…which, in NYC, I have found is actually quite common.
At least that’s what they say until they’re actually in the fling. Then they tend to change their mind and want a long-term thing.
Dang oxytocin…
i respectfully disagree - this was a chance to get honesty in a situation where she didn’t have to worry about being socially inappropriate. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know the full truth.
If you’re the kind of person that gets bothered by honesty, that sounds like a problem with you, not with me or her.
I think the rule is “Don’t ask, unless you are prepared to hear the truth. (Though that doesn’t guarantee you’ll actually be told the truth.)”
I’d always ask “why not.” Why not ask? Why not find out if the person is really shallow or if you have room to improve somewhere? Why not put them on the spot? Why not keep the conversation going? Why not?
This sentence made me think that it did bother you after all, and rightfully so.
But what can you improve? You can’t grow taller, or get that masters degree overnight, or change the way you look on the pictures, or change the things you like to do for fun…
Why bother putting that virtual person (you have never met and therefore not emotiionally invested in) on the spot?
If she is not into you, the converation will fizzle no matter what…
Just hang from the monkey bars.
Most people don’t respond to people they’re not interested in so that person was polite. Please do not go right to anyone’s apartment. Especially if it’s down an alley and there is a white van parked outside. From my experience you don’t even want to have dinner on first dates. A first date should be something casual that either party can feel free to walk away from. If you’re not having a good time while having drinks could you imagine how horrible that would be if you felt obligated to sit through an entire meal? If you are having a good time you can always add onto the experience. Key to life is keeping expectations low.
Just keep paying of that student debt
I was talking to the 5’6 guy, hanging from the monkey bars will make u grow.
Haha if only it did…