CFAvsMBA, thanks for the candid impressions – now that you put it that way, I can definitely see how a lot of the girls on these online dating sites aren’t my type. But at the same time, it sounds like a place like OKCupid could be a great way to just have fun and as a potential “call option” to find something with more staying power, such as “type #5” as you listed above.
I’m actually OK with looking for the “Numi female equivalent” (haha! you’re too kind, by the way) through friends of friends. That said, for me it’s less about finding a girl with an awesome pedigree and lots of earnings power and more about simply finding someone that really complements me. I sometimes find that meeting other people from high-finance or good business schools often starts out like a transactional conversation and “walk me through your resume” thing, until I’m adamant about not talking about my job and want to switch the topic to getting to know what she does for fun and whether or not that actually sounds cool to me. I really think I’m just looking for fun right now, but I guess OK if the girl actually seems like she has some real potential and isn’t certifiably insane.
Nonetheless, my biggest concern is that I end up going out with this girl a few times, stuff happens, but I realize that she’s just not my type. What am I supposed to say to her or even to the mutual friends that I have? Is the best thing just to not say anything at all and let the girl get the hint once I stop calling? Or is there any real need to be concerned about potential collateral damage to other areas of my social circle (especially if the girl in question has hot friends that I wouldn’t mind hanging with)? Do girls have a “girl code” where they won’t date you if you’ve dated one of her friends, or do they just not care as long as they’re into you (the way that some men are)?
You sad bastards. Get the f*ck out of the US. I’m telling you the moment you leave behind NYC and its chubby Lena Dunhams and go to a place with real women you will thank me.
Dude, this paragraph is a train wreck. What do you say if it doesn’t work out? Say it’s not working out. Or that you have herpes. Whatever. You’re adults. Some chicks are pyscho and will probably kill you, but most will take it just fine. Absolutely do not just ignore her if you have mutual friends. You’ll never get a referral again. If you don’t have common friends, then yes this is an appropriate strategy. No, girls do not have a girl code. In fact, for some reason sleeping with their friends will actually make you more desirable to them. Girls are weird.
^ funny thing is, when I’ve done this, I’ve gotten, “Oh, well, can we at least still hang out and sleep together?”
I’d keep it in the pants until you’re sure she has some staying power. No sense in rocking the boat or making future rendezvous awkward for the whole social circle.
You’re exactly right frankie! We could have been discussing how you creep on HCB on fbook, gawk at hot secretaries at your job, and what’s new with the Kimmy K clan.
Sounds like you met some pretty fun chicks this way, especially the art history Ph.D. (not so much the half Vietnamese/half black girl, who sounds pretty hot but I have dog allergies so that would be a dealbreaker). Just curious, what made you realize you’d been hanging out with one of those girls “too early after a breakup”? I feel like I’m actually recovering from my breakup pretty quickly and I’m pretty ready to mingle. The thing is, I also wouldn’t past myself to get into some a$$hole tendency and mess up something good that I was too ignorant to realize. Maybe I should just avoid any real commitments for the time being, and just focus on having as much fun and be as irresponsible as possible until that phase has played out.
The gay friend strategy works like a charm, you just have to be comfortable with yourself. Also many women find that confidence/tolerance attractive in of itself.
Sometimes I think life would be better if I was a battyboy, I think they have alot more fun then us straight guys.
I feel you numi, I use to love dancing as well only not salsa I was into popping and locking. Started in grade ten when I started going to dance clubs raves/afterhours. It was great for picking up and blowing off steam but now that clubs are no longer a part of my lifestyle I feel like I miss it. I just don’t want to go to a class and be surrounded by 16-17 year old korean and filipino kids so that I feel like a creepy old man. You have made me start to think that I should try salsa now that im pushing thirty…lol.
I do online dating in NYC and have fun with it. Had some short term stints, and two longer term 6 - 12 months as well. But always did it while keeping the real life meeting in the foreground. I break from it time and again.
My main source os friends of friends or networking events through undergrad or grad. To me…girls are girls. You run into the same relationship issues and successes no matter where they “originate from.” I say give it a shot.
I like your salsa idea. Thankfully I can hold my own on the dance floor. Picking up girls on the floor was my main source of talent from say age 17 to 23. But where do you dance for chicks as late 20s/early30s?
bhodi, you should just keep poppin’ and lockin’. I think people who are 30 on here are way too worried about being “creepy”. Besides Frank, it doesn’t really seem like most of the people on here are too creepy…doing the stuff that you liked when you were young will help to keep you young. That’s why I still play Magic the Gathering, and trust me, I’m not at all creepy when I’m pwning on that isht.