Re: arranged marriages - I heard this once. Don’t know how true it is, but it makes sense.
The top reason people give for getting divorced:
Money
In-laws
Difference in social status or upbringing
Don’t love each other anymore.
Generally speaking, when you marriage is arranged, the first three are non-issues. That takes care of 75% of your reasons to get a divorce.
So true!!!
That happened to my friend as well, i mean, she isn’t THAT bad in person and she did have a lot of trouble finding dates, but once she went online, she got TONNES of requests and going on a date every weekend (if she’s got hte time to).
It’s truly amazing how many people out there are looking online, i have met a few a her dates, some are goodlooking and looking for fun, some are average looking but really nice, some are even boyfriends material.
Actually, attitude comes through in what people write fairly well. You can often tell who’s bitter, who has a chip on their shoulder, who thinks that they are God’s gift to the world, who expects constant pampering. When I did this stuff, I often looked for women who were college educated and spoke multiple languages. If they did, it generally meant we had more to talk about and more areas of connection. You can tell a lot about them through their grammar and choice of vocabulary too. Do they talk in text talk? Do they use cliches? Do they use lots of hyperpecunious (I.e. expensive) words?
Photos are a different question. People naturally want to post their best photos, so it shouldn’t be surprising when they show up at the end of a workday for a quick drink and don’t look like that fabulous photo that you were secretly dreaming about. If there’s only one photo, or all photos are at strange angles, or the photos have everyone wearing things that were fashionable 5 years ago and are out of fashion today, that’s a sign that you need to lower expectations of their appearance.
In real life, you get a good feel for whether you’re physically attracted to someone, you can get a sense of “vibe” which is easier to feel than online. Those things are important too, particularly if you are looking for a one-nighter.
Online dating is awesome. You can filter down to what you want then browse. It’s like a bar that everyone is in. Imagine someone perfect for you was at the bar you went to last night right now. Well you’re somewhere else today. By chance you may never meet this person. Online dating MIGHT connect you. It’s not the final stop for meeting people, but it sure can work to your advantage if you’re willing to try.
My suggestion to people would be: don’t make actual dates right off the bat. As in, don’t sign up for dinner for the first go. Don’t make any extravagent plans to go to the zoo or anything that requires more than 30 minutes. Pick something casual that either of you can walk away from. Go get a drink in a fun neighborhood. If the drink goes good you can ask if they want to get dinner. If it goes bad you can thank them for coming out and go meet up with your friends at the bar. Treat it like an informal interview (for the networking folks here). The key is to see if the online connection exists in person.
Please categorize the frequent AF posters into these categories.
^seconded.
think he’s too nice to do that though.
but what’s wrong in speaking in cliches?what does it signify?im dead curious now…
^BChad tends to use a lot of hyperpecunious words.
Who said clichês are wrong? It’s just a way of talking. Cleverly done, they’re a plus, because they can lead to great laughs. Badly done, and you can tell that you’ve seen this movie before.
+1
There “were” a lot of arranged marriage in japan as well, not so much now, but still exist.
I’d say sometimes arrange marriage is not as bad as you think. it’s not like you are FORCED to marry someone if you truly do not want to, and if you reach a certain age and no appropriate partner comes along, it’s better to just have others (parents, grandparants, agency) to look for you, they give you more options and at least it’s out in the open and there are no “games” involved.
Word. How would you categorize me?
Hey, BChad. “Hyperpecunious” isn’t in the dictionary. Where did you get this word?
I took the greek prefix hyper and added it to the word pecunious.
Gosh, surprised. I thought online dating had been over for ages until I clicked to read the thread ^__^.
When internet boomed in my country about 15 years ago, online dating was very popular. Chat rooms and forums played a big role for it to grow. As I get older and busier with college and work life, I (and friends at my age as well) don’t give much attention for it. That’s why I assumed this dating form was dead T__T.
Some friends of mine find it easier to network when they join groups or clubs where people share hobbies (pets, sports, travelling, etc…). They believe this way is safer and the chance to be successful will be higher with those who are known to have something in common :).
By the way, a couple of years ago I watched a kind of scientific movie about blind dates. At the beginning, the movie shows a hypothesis that people normally find those who have similar facial structures (not sure if I use the right term) more attractive to them. The assumption here is because we look at ourselves in the mirror everyday, we tend to be attracted to those who have “similar” faces. The scientists collect pictures of single people who are desprately looking for the other half and use a software program to pick out pairs that match in term of facial structures. After that, they set up blind dates to test their hypothesis…
(Ooops, sorry, I got to go now…)
^ Respect.
OKok…
Here’s the thing about people suggesting going to tennis clubs (or alike) to meet people in “real life”.
Have anyone actually joined these clubs or participate in any interest groups or classes lately?
THEY ARE FILLED WITH COUPLES!
The truth is, single men don’t go to painting class, cooking class, wine tasting class, scuba diving class… they usually go with girlfriends!
so it’s not as easy to think of “normal” activities to meet singles. Unless it’s some kind of speed dating or table for 6 type of arranged meetings, which is a topic on its own…
So true!
I was told it has to be something sport related. Like a running club or a social soccer league.
Sigh. Running and soccer - the two activities I hate with passion.
ZOG Sports. You’ll find a ton of single guys playing kickball, softball, etc…
Bump.
Painting, cooking, wine tasting… These are not really normal activities for guys.