I’m not sure. All I can say is I was pretty floored. Kid was covering his tracks when I was asking casual questions like, “What did you do for xxxx holiday?” Seeing as he lied all the way until being outed really cut deep. I could respect him more for standing with a backbone and explain what happened. Hearing his POV after I knew was all noise.
For the record, I’m still friends with this bro. I haven’t spoke to that female for a good decade.
Nah, I’ve known her since she started. It’s basically me and the other dude, plus maybe 1 or 2 that fell through the cracks.
Text your friend and tell him like if it’s no biggie and is her fault: “dude … you totally need to control your b!tches. Just last night your girl came and hit on me real bad.”
If he responds uninterested and in a good way, like: “haha, F bitch, she’s overdue a good pounding”, then you can safely date her because he no longer cares. On the other hand if he gets serious and asks details, signaling he’s not over her, you maintain your story. “Not my fault, that’s why I’m telling you to control your chicks in the first place. Next time I’ll knock her out cold then.” Pretend you’re offended. But it’s essential to use a text message for this plan to work.
Conversely, a MMF is also in play here.
Also, we on AF demand to know about the Macbook Air chick.
I still think you should just evade responsability and pretend like nothing happened.
If you are gonna date this chick than give him a heads up if he is really someone you care about. Don’t tell him, “Hey I fcked her; I parted her shores much wider than anyone else had before” Say something like, “Hey, I was thinking of tappen’ that. Would you give a fck?”
But if this is just another buddy then I say keep your mouth shut and let him deal with it when he finds out. You don’t owe him anything. If he’s wants to be a bitch about it then it’s only gonna make him look bad. Any man worth his salt won’t give a damn.
^This is horrible advice. Think like a rational person and just provide the facts (i.e you messed up and this is what happened or you really like this girl and you are going to proceed with her). Most people befriend those with similar mind sets so if you are rational, he probably is as well and will understand where you are coming from. We, as AFers, are gentlemen at heart and should act with class.
^ See CT, my original thought process was that, yes, seeing other people dating your ex’s is never fun, but it’s a part of life. She dated someone else in between so it’s not like I stole her away or anything and things are clearly over between them even if he’s uncomfortable, so it shouldn’t be a big deal at all. But then afterwards, I was like ah crap, maybe this is a big deal. Who knows what to think I guess. I’m leaning towards just never bringing it up, and if this becomes some serious relationship, eventually I’ll bring it out and just be like, we didn’t want to say anything until we were sure this was the real deal or whatever. Also, hopefully by then he’ll be dating someone else in a relationship, so he won’t be able to really say anything without looking like an ahole to us and his current chic.
Anyhow, I broke up with Macbook Air girl a couple months ago. She was getting increasingly clingy and insecure and things were becoming very drama-ie and distracting, so I cut that one loose. A good girl, just maybe not so good under stress or something. Anyhow, I’m a known generous gifter for holidays, and def don’t regret the gift, especially because she’s a close friend of the family so in a way I think it somehow made things seem better with how they ended because it seemed like I was openly serious about it and not taking her for granted or something.
^^ This is shit advice.
Class? What is this Jane Eyre?
It’s none of the other guy’s business. If he’s got a problem with it, he should just fcking deal with it. It’s not BSs fault that he happens to be the guy banging her. If he wants to get her back, that’s not BS’s problem. She’s gonna bang someone, might as well be a swell guy like BS.
Going up to the guy and bringing it up forces you to have an awkward conversation that most guys would rather just not have. If BS came to me all chivalorous trying to make sure my “feelings” were gonna be ok now that he’s fcking my ex I’d be more pissed off than if we just never spoke about it in the first place. Like I said, unless this is your number 1 best friend DON’T BRING IT UP.
“Hey dude,”
“Hey”
“I just thought I should tell you that I’m seeing your ex. I hope you are ok with that.”
(Black Swan goes into hug it out)
“Fck you, Black Swan!”
(Buddy punches Black Swan in face)
I am thoroughly confused.
Yeah, screw this. Unless there is a ring on her finger she’s fair game. It sounds like it isn’t even close to that. Even if they were still dating, I don’t see why you need to “hug it out” with this guy. It’s degrading to him.
BS, if you bang my girlfriend, keep it to yourself. However, get checked for VD because I mark my territory.
I never said anything about asking about feelings, i just said to state the facts. I am a firm believer of treating friends with respect.
Ask yourself, “What would my lawyer tell me to do?”
Do not admit fault. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion.
This guy mignt not like it, but he needs to deal with it. We’re not in 8th grade anymore.
Life is too short to apologize for your conquests. This goes quadruple if BS is really into her. I’m not in the habit of banging my friends gf’s but if I were really into a chick nothing would stop me. Why? Because that’s what a man does. Do you think Ghengis Khan apologized everytime he banged one of his friends wives?
Black Swan,
Where is this guy on a the Bro-Scale of 1 to 10?
Did you guys grow up together in same hood? Or is he just someone you kayak with now and then the past couple of years?
I would put him at like a 5-6 assuming 10 is a super close bro. We kayak a lot together. But to be clear, this is his ex and not his current gf, you seem a little unclear on that.
If he asks me about it, I’ll be clear with him. In the mean time, I don’t think anybody is better off knowing. And frankly, I don’t even see how it’s his business this long after they dated. It WOULD have been respectful to mention something to him before. But things didn’t go down that way. At this point, it just seems like I’m uselessly throwing it in his face ex post facto. If dude didn’t want anyone else seeing her he should be dating her, otherwise he doesn’t own either of us, and he gets no free punches he won’t have to pay for. I think that’s my decision.
No, I’m clear on that. I’m just saying that even if it were his GF, you don’t owe him anything.
If he were a level 10 homie than you might want to address the issue because “bros before hos” but a 5 or a 6 homie? Geez, how hard is it to go out and get a new one of those?
On the scale of “Into her” where do you rank her on a 1 to 10?
We can then combine them to create something like the Bro vs Ho ratio: If it’s > 1 than you might want to talk to him about it. < 1 screw him.
Rank her a 5-6 ish. Probably higher before, but I have this thing where I start to lose interest in girls after we hook up the first time. Anyhow, I would never mess with a friend’s GF. Just to be clear.
Also, I edited my post above in case you didn’t catch it.
Ok so Bro to Ho ratio is = 1.
I therefore suggest that you do a one tailed test and see if this ratio is significantly greater than 1 at a 95 percent confidence level. If it is then talk to him. Otherwise, reject the null hypothesis and ignore it.
Just saw your edit - sounds good. But yeah do a z-test just to be sure as this is borderline.
It depends on how hot the chick is…
Is she hot and sane? Then take the punch and get it over with. This will just mean more risk free opportunity to hook up in the future. If not, then deny til the day you die.
I’m not taking sh*t in terms of punches. I didn’t do anything wrong. Anyhow, if he gets another gf and her and I are still hanging out, I’ll bring it up then.
“There is no greater pleasure in life than to take another man’s horses and women”.
If you bring it up and he punches you, I say take it. You deserve it for bringing it up. The “classy” thing to do in this instance is to turn the other cheek.
If you don’t bring it up and he comes at you anyway tell him to make the first punch good, because there won’t be a chance for a second one.